Audio Transcript
First of all, we need to know that we should encourage those who are backsliding. James 5:19 says My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back, 20 remember this: Whoever turns a sinner from the error of their way will save them from death and cover over a multitude of sins.
Far too many of us, including myself, give up on people, and God doesn’t. Look at the story of the prodigal son, and how he returned eventually: God specializes in bringing people back, and He uses us to do that. He’s given us the ministry of reconciliation. God is making his appeal through us.
“God specializes in bringing people back, and He uses us to do that.”
So how do we do it? I should also describe the difference between backsliding and apostatizing. Apostatizing is somebody who has claimed to be a Christian but never actually really was a Christian inward. The person probably spent time around Church, did Christian things and then fell away. The Greek word for “fall away” is apostasia. It means they fall away from the faith; they don’t come back. Backsliding is when someone who is a genuine Christian, goes through spiritual dryness, whether they are not conscious of it or whether they don’t even admit it. And because they are going through spiritual dryness, all of a sudden, they are now open to many temptations. They are filled with other things and so because of that even though they are Christians, they are moving away.
First thing is to pray for them. Before the verse in James I quoted earlier talked about turning a sinner from the error of their way, it talks a lot about prayer, about the effectual fervent prayer of the righteous. So, pray for them. I don’t mean just pray, intercede for them. Intercede even if it takes years especially if it’s someone you know and you love. Pray. I almost feel like I spend 75 percent of my time talking about praying, like real deep prayer for them. Prayer of compassion, prayer of love. Fervent prayer for them because ultimately, it’s God that draws people back.
The second thing is to maintain a relationship with them.
Third is, in maintaining that relationship, don’t condemn. Don’t talk in ways that make you look superior to them.
The fourth is don’t make “them coming back” the subject of all your conversations so that they don’t see you as always saying the same thing.
The fifth is don’t make it such that it is never the subject of your conversations. You see with four, you’re not trying to always make your discussions something off-putting but with five, you are not trying to make them always comfortable in their sin. So you see, by maintaining that relationship and talking about other things you are still in the loop but when you start talking about them coming back and some of this stuff, it makes them uncomfortable. It pricks their conscience, but you don’t do it all the time so that they don’t stop talking with you. The point is to do enough to remain there and to make them feel uncomfortable in their sin.
The sixth is in case they stop going to church, if there’s a special program, invite them. Send them a message occasionally. If you read an article that you think is helpful, send them that article. Occasionally, you may send them a bible verse.
Now all these things that you are doing, you are doing them on the basis that you are praying because what you are asking, is for God’s power to be manifested through the means of what you are doing. If you are not constantly praying, what you are trying to do is to do it in your own strength.
But we also don’t want to be people who just pray and are not trying to do something because God works through means. Now you may not be the ultimate means that God uses to convert them but that’s not what you should even be worried about, about whether they mention you in their testimony or coming back. You just want them to come back. So, I think that’s how you do it.
Femi Osunnuyi is lead pastor of City Church, a gospel-centred urban church in the city of Lagos. Because of his passion for church planting and leadership development he also serves on the Lead Team of Acts29 and the Advisory Team of City to City Africa. He is happily married to Tosin and is father to Tofunmi and Timilehin.