So, I really do believe, and I hope we all believe that the truth is people that have these desires. Think about having homosexual desires in Nigeria, you don’t want to, because nobody’s going to accept you. So, when we say it’s just a choice so stop having it, it’s so cruel. Most people don’t want to have it, at least I can tell you that one in africa and studies upon studies have shown people have these things. I know someone whose marriage totally fell apart, why? The person they got married to have always been attracted to the same sex in their life but just before they met them, they had a Jesus moment they became born again, and the moment they became born again they also believed that Jesus had healed them from that same sex orientation. In fact, the person even wrote a book about it condemning people that are having same sex attraction. They get married and after they get married, honeymoon night and everything was a disaster and subsequently after, disaster upon disaster eventually the person who said Jesus had delivered them left the marriage and went to go and be with a partner. Does a person just want to ruin that life like that? No.
So let’s be clear about it,
Same-sex attraction is people can have attraction for the same sex at a certain period in time, some people used to have it in secondary school but now as adults they no longer have it.
For same-sex orientation, they’ve never had desires for the opposite sex. It’s always been the same sex and it just hasn’t gone.
Same-sex lifestyle is when they act upon that orientation and in christian circles some would even say it is good, it is blessed because they only have one person they’re committed to. Some of them in countries where it is now legal to marry someone of same sex, say I’m committed to this person, it’s a monogamous relationship, and one of the arguments is God put it in me.
Now christians hear that and they say no way. God could not create somebody that had homosexual feelings and I say why, and they say because God can’t. Why?
Okay, is that a sinful desire? You say yes. Okay, I’m like show me one person that God has created after Adam that does not have a sinful desire. Anybody, show me. David said in sin did my mother conceive me. So, the argument of God can’t, I don’t think is scriptural.
But then I say to the other ones who says I have been homosexual from childhood, from birth, that’s the way I was born and then the next thing I would say is how do you know that? Did they ask you when you were born, are you? Is there a test for people? Is there an ultrasonic test right from where we are born?
First of all, I think that this statement, “I have been homosexual from birth” is a very disturbing statement. It’s a very, and I have other words for it, but I will not use it but it’s a very disturbing statement. Let me say why. I don’t know what it means to be heterosexual from childbirth. We don’t test for heterosexuality at childbirth. People that try to test for that end up abusing children, isn’t it? That is the only way. We don’t talk about sexuality when it comes to children, so we shouldn’t talk about it heterosexually, neither should we talk about it homosexually. We should not be claiming things about sexuality from birth. It is a very disturbing thing to think about because the way we test these things is through, in many ways, sexual desires and sexual activity and God forbid, do we want a one or two year old to be having sexual desire? How are you going to test it? Are you going to put something on video for them to watch and then see how they react? God forbid! So, I think the very question about testing about our homosexuality or heterosexuality from childbirth, the thought of it, i’m not saying this is what it is, but the logical conclusion is actually child abusive.
So, if the fact that everyone God creates has sinful desires and we have no way of testing heterosexuality or homosexuality from childbirth where does it come from? I don’t know, and I don’t think anybody really can. Some people who have had homosexual desire would say when they initially first started having it and I often will find that it is just like when a lot of us first started having heterosexual desires, that we were conscious of it. It’s called puberty.
But how then is particular sinful desire, is like if a 12-year-old is having a sexual desire for another 13 or 14-year-old, when did that enter them, is that a good thing, no. So, I do think that the issue of where it came from honestly to a large extent is an irrelevant question and I’m not totally sure it can even be answered. I think more importantly is understanding it is there and dealing with the fact of, now that it is there, what do we as christians say about it, how do we walk alongside people who are willing to agree that this is not God’s desire. It’s not God’s desire and there are many reasons and if you want to check it out, I think I’ve preached twice on it. Check out sex and the family from the series on christ and sexuality and check out misusing sex that was 2018. So, I got a little bit more into at length on those, but I do feel like it is about living it out. If you have a same-sex orientation you are not sinning but living it out is sinning. So, if we have people who are willing to say I want to lay it down for the Lord, it’s a very difficult thing, and they often can’t do it alone, they need community to walk alongside them in good friendships, in prayers, and other things and I’ve always said this, I hope we are a church that people who struggle with these things can come in here and not feel rejected but feel accepted, why? Because that is how God has treated us in the gospel. Amen. So, we’re not saying that we will condone the lifestyle there. In the same way, we’ll call out every sinful behavior that we know of, but at the same time we don’t want to reject anybody who is dealing with a particular sin struggle. We should be there to help them out of it, and I hope that’s how we can be as a church.
Answered by Femi Osunnuyi, Lead Pastor of City Church, Lagos.