How to be Your Brother’s Keeper Without Being a Meddler

 

15 If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. 

19 So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good. 

Audio Transcript

 There is tension between verses 15 and 19 of 1 Peter 4 because Peter says continue to do good and warns people about being meddlers.  

The meddling there had something specific to do with Peter’s audience and because he wrote to them as people who were suffering and a minority faith in their society, I really do think it means that there is a way they could be inappropriately involved in other people’s matters that leads to their suffering. 

One commentator said that Peter’s audience really did believe that God has spoken through Christ and that this was the one and true religion, but there is a way you can take the right things God has said and mix it with a moral superiority complex.  It’s true God has said things in Christianity he hasn’t anywhere else, and that has nothing to do with you who is a Christian. It has everything to do with God, who has revealed himself there. But, if you think it has something to do with you, there is a way you can meddle into other people’s business that, whatever you get, as a result, is your problem.

 

“It’s true God has said things in Christianity he hasn’t anywhere else, and that has nothing to do with you who is a Christian. It has everything to do with God, who has revealed himself there.”

 

 This mix of superiority complex and the right thinking can be seen with the Pharisees. The Jews thought they were better than everybody because they had God’s law, and the Pharisees who were one of the scholarly groups at the time not only wanted to impose that law on everybody, they also started to misinterpret the law. Their superiority complex started to affect their interpretation. This can also be the case same for Christians: meddling inappropriately with people who we have no relationship and start telling them what to do. 

There was a video of a guy, I think this happened 8 years ago. He was in his place of work. You could see him talking to his boss and declaring certain things over him. His boss kept looking at him and sent a text, and before you know it, security came to carry him. That guy’s suffering was because of meddling.   

 So, in that regard, what I think that passage means is inappropriately getting into places and giving advice where we shouldn’t. Sometimes there are consequences that come from that. So, it calls for wisdom where we should speak. 

 

On the other hand, people can think I don’t want to meddle, and from saying don’t meddle which is the right thing, we go to the other extreme which is, “just mind my business and unless it’s asked of me, I don’t.” I think that’s wrong. Peter says continue to do good, and what that means sometimes is looking out for it and not just waiting till it comes to us. Many times, the tendency of our flesh is not to do good. Some people are introverts, and their tendency is not to look out for people because they don’t want to attract people to themselves, yet if we give in to that, we will not do good.  

 We can say if anybody needs something they should come and ask, and some few people may ask, but God has given us a spirit of empathy and compassion and if we don’t use it, we will not identify. 

 We also need to understand that the fact that we want to help doesn’t always mean we’re helping the right way. Sometimes what we have to do is to learn. I approached someone to help in a particular way and I later saw it wasn’t right. I learned from that situation and didn’t try to do it in that same way again, not that I don’t try to help.

 

“The fact that we want to help doesn’t always mean we’re helping the right way.”

 

 Sometimes we need to ask certain questions: Am I the right person to ask? If I asked, would it embarrass that person?  And if I would embarrass that person, can I go through somebody else? Rather than saying I am not going to, we can find creative ways to help. It is important that in the care of how we administer help, we don’t kill the motivation to help. In other words, don’t allow the fear of getting it wrong to stop the continuous doing of good. Let us learn from ways we shouldn’t do it but let us always keep on and continue, as Peter says, doing good. 

 


Femi Osunnuyi is lead pastor of City Church, a gospel-centred urban church in the city of Lagos. Because of his passion for church planting and leadership development he also serves on the Lead Team of Acts29 and the Advisory Team of City to City Africa. He is happily married to Tosin and is father to Tofunmi and Timilehin.