Are Introverts Better Christians?

Video Transcript

“When I see that Philippians, says we should let our gentleness be known to all and I saw the design of today’s service, living quiet lives, I’m a bit bothered. How do extroverts or jovial ones or those who are loud and expressive relate to this knowing that our different personalities serve God’s glory. Also does it promote the notion that quiet people in the church appear better and more Christian?” 

It depends. One of the things we see is that Jesus didn’t fit your definition of quiet. He didn’t fit that normal definition of quiet and so it’s our definition that should change not the word. Jesus went to parties and therefore was accused of being a gluttonous person and a drunkard. Jesus hung out with people who are boisterous, so he was called a friend of sinners.


“Personality does not equal sin, but different personalities can accentuate sin in certain ways”


So, personality does not equal sin, but different personalities can accentuate sin in certain ways. Our different personalities can accentuate our sins in different ways but having a certain kind of personality is not inherently sinful. You are not sinful because you are an introvert, you are not sinful because you are an extrovert. Now introverts can tend to express their own sin in a certain way, they often can be judgmental whereas extroverts can be a bit controlling. So, it’s not about that. 

Also, I often say that quietness does not equal peace. So, the fact that I am quiet towards you doesn’t mean I don’t have beef for you, doesn’t mean I don’t have bitterness towards you. So again, let’s decouple these things from each other. The most quiet church doesn’t mean that it’s the most godly church neither is the most expressive church, you know some people say I’m just passionate and expressive and jumpy jumpy, that doesn’t mean it’s also the most godly church as well. 

So, gentleness is a way that we use power. You know Peter says in 1 Peter 3:15 that, when we give the reason for the hope that is in us that automatically puts us in a place of power, that is, Christians believe a message that transits us from the kingdom of darkness to the kingdom of light and gives us an eternal inheritance, and so that puts us in a place of privilege, and the truth that we believe can refute all other kinds of ideologies that are on display. The power of Jesus, when you demonstrate it against the power of darkness, it will always win. So, the people who bear that message are in a place of power. How should they use that privileged position? Peter says, with gentleness.  

In other words, it is the way you use your power in such a way that you don’t see the power as you deserving it, but you see the power as being given to you, in a way that tries to win others, and so the expression of it is not condescending, the expression of it is not to dominate, the expression of it is to win, is to bring people in.


“Gentleness doesn’t have much to do with the loudness of your voice, it has to do with the loudness of your character”


 So, gentleness doesn’t have much to do with the loudness of your voice, it has to do with the loudness of your character. How do you express that character within your personality? So, if you are the naturally jovial and expressive person, if you are gentle, you will be concerned about how sometimes you may go overboard with it and I’m not talking about not dancing, or not whatever, I’m just saying in a way that reasonably makes people uncomfortable, now how do you be gentle, you restrain a little bit so that that other person is not uncomfortable. So, I would say again, don’t equate quietness and peace, don’t equate gentleness with the loudness of the voice but actually the loudness of our character that enables us to live with others for their own good. 


Femi Osunnuyi is lead pastor of City Church, a gospel-centred urban church in the city of Lagos. Because of his passion for church planting and leadership development he also serves on the Lead Team of Acts29 and the Advisory Team of City to City Africa. He is happily married to Tosin and is father to Tofunmi and Timilehin., +2349076700860